Simpler times; when coming up with something to write here wasn't interrupted by George Lopez skits.

Santa and the Sorcerer’s Stone

Posted: April 11th, 2010 | Author: Shae Jensen | Filed under: Harry Potter | Tags: , | 3 Comments »

Why Santa would fit perfectly into the world of Harry Potter and why no one has thought to mention this before.

In the world of Harry Potter, we are all aware of magical beasts, both made up by JKR herself and others she took from general mythology. That’s all well and good, but what happened to Santa? He would fit in perfectly, as I’m sure we can all agree. But in case we can’t, here’s a list of reasons that might convince you:

1. All the reasons we muggles use to rationalize the fact that Santa doesn’t exist would be nullified, as I will point out on the next points of this list.

2. It would be perfectly possible to have flying reindeer. The way I imagined it is that said reindeer would have similar spell on them as the flying brooms, so they couldn’t just take off at will, and it wouldn’t be so much as the reindeer themselves could fly, but that they had the ability for you to make them fly. If that makes sense. There are, of course, many other possibilities as to how they could be able to fly (hell, if Voldemort can do it, so can reindeer!) and who knows? maybe there is even a breed of reindeer out there with the simple magical ability of flight? JKR didn’t see fit to mention every single beast in existence in the Potterverse. Who are we to assume there isn’t a breed of flying reindeer?

3. The fact that a human couldn’t fit all those gifts into one bag is also a moot point now – as we all read in Deathly Hallows, it’s possible to make your bag essentially bottomless. All Santa Clause would need to do would be to make sure the opening of the bag was big enough to fit the biggest of the boxes through and he’d be good to go. With the addition of the fact that it could be as small as a handbag, one has to wonder why he’d make it a huge sack, though? Perhaps he found it flattering to his figure, ’cause it’d probably make his belly appear smaller in comparison.

4. Going through a chimney is nothing new to a wizard! The Floo network makes this possible for every wizard, as long as they have enough powder. So all I’m wondering now is whether or not Santa would use Floo Powder and avoid the flying reindeer all together? It would explain why he would use the chimney to begin with, because, really, can you think of any other reason? If I were Santa, even a muggle Santa, I’d simply break in through the front door. If you’re going to break in, surely the easiest way would be that of the front door, or perhaps a window. But, being a wizard, who does, in fact, have access to Floo Powder, one would assume that he’d be using it.

5. Living on the North Pole would be a great deal more comfortable. I would assume that there’s no electricity going to the North Pole, thus making a space heater impossible. Even if he has a giant factory (or maybe he has one of those special house-tents that, when you enter it, becomes a huge factory? It would explain why no one has stumbled across a huge factory when on north pole expeditions and on satellite images it could probably pass for a big rock) they’re still bound to get cold, and how would you run a factory without electricity? no. There has to be magic involved in this to make it possible in any way. I won’t explain to you every way they could make every toy, as I’m sure your imagination will give you a guided tour of the magical factory of Santa.

6. The fact that Santa always appears to be the same guy could be explained by various things in the Potterverse. Let’s, for one, assume that he’s a good friend of Nicholas Flamel and Santa is, in fact, the same person simply kept alive by the Elixir of Life. I get a warm fuzzy feeling from thinking of an eternal Santa, personally. But alright, let’s be realistic. Nicholas Flamel didn’t even let Dumbledore have the Elixir of Life (or maybe he did, hence the fact that he lived to be around 115 years old, while still keeping his sanity. It’s still a stretch to claim that he let Santa have said elixir). It can be explained away by the fact that they have metamorphmagi. Maybe they have a metamorphmagus alter himself to be Santa every time the last Santa dies. That sounds quite silly to me, but it’s a possibility nonetheless. They also have Polyjuice potions. Maybe they shaved the original Santa’s head when he died and they continue to use his hair ’till they run out (let’s face it, you’d be hard pressed, even over a thousand years, to run out of a huge mop of hair!), but let’s assume you can’t polyjuice yourself to look like a dead guy (was that issue ever taken up for discussion?) there are always primitive spells to alter your appearance. We never really get told much about that in the books, though, so I don’t know how well that’d work. Alas, this particular topic is one of many options, most of which only seem partially likely.

Why, if Santa was a wizard, he didn’t try some wizardly diet sure to make him slimmer is anyone’s guess.

Now, why haven’t I seen thousands of these blogs pointing out the obvious out there? I’m not sure how to explain it. This can’t possibly have been an original idea. Maybe it’s because we idealize Santa to the point where he is a man, just a man, but an extraordinary man. Making him a wizard would simply make him a regular, albeit generous wizard, but mostly I would simply have to assume that it’s because JKR never really took any popular myths about specific people (except for Nicholas Flamel) like Dracula or Frankenstein and pointed out that they were real, so no one thought to do it with Santa. Speaking of Dracula and Frankenstein’s monster, they could quite possibly be real in the Potterverse as well. But let’s save that for a different blog.

I hope you find, just as I did, comfort in the fact that Santa could quite possibly be real to Harry and the gang. But let’s all ignore the fact that Harry was never given any gifts on Christmas from him, because that just stirs up unpleasant questions.